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Why These Vegetables Make You Stink

Stink

Since we were little, our parents have taught us the same thing over and over again – Eat your broccoli honey, it will make you strong like Superman (if you’re a boy) or it will make you a Miss Universe (if you’re a girl). And we learned to eat veggies (even if at times we vomited in our mouths) but it did work for us as we grew older. Although we didn’t become Superman and the Miss Universe thing didn’t happen to all of us, we “felt” that eating veggie is good for our bodies, nutrition-wise.

It’s just that eating the most nutritious vegetables has a bad side effect… It can literally make your body smell. Yes! Oh, yes! It does, it can and it will. Still, you have to eat them because it will prolong your life – I guess, you just have to take an extra swish with the mouthwash, apply deodorant one more time, and don’t forget your foot powder!

ASPARAGUS

Asparagus is heaven! Toss it on the grill and add some salt and pepper, voila! You have a great appetizer ready to be devoured. Couples love to eat asparagus because it is a known aphrodisiac – talk about a romantic night for two, full of love – let’s just hope that you don’t pass some gas while getting intimate. It’s such a big turnoff!

But just to make you see the truth – asparagus has compounds that contain ammonia and sulfur when metabolized. Now, this goes to your urine and it makes the already funky smell of your pee, FUNKIER. So if you’re thinking of eating a bunch of asparagus, then, I suggest that you eat it when your lover is not around.

GARLIC

We already know that garlic can give you the worst breath ever. (I’m pretty sure that even your dog won’t be cuddling your when you’re “melting the moustache”. That’s because garlic has a sulfur compound that breaks down into allyl methyl sulfide. It can’t go out anywhere except your lungs so, it creates that overly pungent smell every time you breathe in and breathe out.

No matter what you do – brush your teeth, gargle with salt or eat breath mints over and over again, that won’t work. The odor is in your lungs, your body – it’s not in your mouth. It will take hours before the terrible escapes your lungs. If you want to speed up the process, go to the gym and sweat it out. But yeah, the smell is excruciating. Just saying…

CABBAGE AND FAMILY

Cabbage, broccoli, bok choy, brussel sprouts and other similar veggies are great for the body but not for the breath. These foods are fibrous and our bodies need all the fiber it can get, right? It is so good that it makes your digestive system “very active”. I think that’s the whole reason why fine dining restaurants don’t offer a lot of cruciferous veggies in their menu. (To avoid toilet troubles!)

ALCOHOL

Beer and hard drinks like whiskey, gin or vodka are not vegetables but some of its components came for plants. When you drink alcohol, you will stink, big time. You already know that. But there is another side of it that you don’t know. Alcohol, when metabolized, will become an acid and this acid comes out of your skin pores. This is why you are so smelly when drunk.

Now, you will have another odor problem. Aside from the body smell, your mouth will smell too. When you are so drunk, the tendency is that you will fall asleep. When you sleep after a drinking spree, your mouth will become overly dry and that is the onset of bad breath. So yeah, bad body odor and bad breath – no thanks to alcohol.

HERBS AND SPICES

People add spices like curry and cumin to their food because it will make any meal taste deliciously and savory good. But then again, it is a healthy food and an “odor” food at that. If you notice, curry and cumin are so concentrated, right? Even if you put a small amount, the aroma radiates in the whole room.

It’s practically the same with your body. You eat herbs and spices – just a little bit. You are “seasoning” your body and the “aroma” will “radiate”. Yes, the smell of cumin and curry will come out of your sweat glands and mixed with your salty sweat, it will be really bad.

COFFEE

I mean, who in this world is not a fan of coffee? Almost all people are coffee drinkers because it’s an energy boost plus it is also full of antioxidants which make your skin glow. Coffee doesn’t have to be hot all the time. It can be a sweet-tasting, ice-cold beverage with cream on top. (Thank you, Starbucks!) It gives you an extra push when you are low on energy.

Coffee increases your metabolism and it is a little bit acidic too. The drink can make you urinate all the time. And you know what else coffee can make you do? It will make your fart over and over again. Yes, the acid in coffee can cause flatulence and disrupt your normal digestion cycle. Coffee can also make your mouth stale and yes, it can lead to bad breath too. So, you can choose – farting with bad breath or don’t care because you’re a coffee addict? Some people will choose the latter over smelly odors at any given time.

BEANS

One of the most nutritious super foods of all time is the black beans. I mean, all kinds of beans are rich in fiber and your body needs fiber so much. But again, fiber can make your intestines and anus explode with gas because of sulfur, carbon dioxide, and hydrogen. And when I mean gas – that’s the gassy farting activity, once again.

So, what’s the deal here? You just have to take it easy on your legumes. Eat one serving, if possible and just lay low. Yes, you need fiber from beans but it can be disastrous. What if you’re with your boss or on a date? You will regret eating too much black beans for sure.

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